Does Age Matter?
Things to consider when thinking about a relationship with an age gap
March 29, 2019
Most people say that age is just a number. But is that really true? If you ask a group of people this question, most will say, “Yes, age is just a number.” Honestly, if someone walked up and asked me this question, I would say the same thing. However, if you stop and think for a minute, those numbers have meaning. To a small child, the number 10 means something to them because they can’t wait to have their birthday party where they get to have a double-digit number. When you turn 13 you go from being a child to a teenager. Turning 16 means you get to have your “sweet 16” birthday party, and you can now get your permit and drive a car. Then finally when you turn 18, you’re considered an adult and can now do many new things on your own. At 21, you’re an adult that can do everything on your own. So these numbers have meaning to all of us.
However, there are also negative things that come along with coming of age. At age ten, you realize you’ll never get to be a little kid anymore. At age 13, you know that there will be many tough years ahead while you try to figure out what kind of person you are as your personality continues to develop. At age 16, you’re driving so you begin to imagine just how easy it would be for you to get seriously hurt and change your life forever. At age 18, you find out what it’s actually like to be independent. At age 21, you’re on your own–anything you do is on you.
So, what about relationships? All of this time while you do your own thing and go through life you form relationships with other people. That’s part of what makes you human. You find things you have in common with others and make friends. Then at age 15, you might meet that one person who you might want to be more than just your friend. But, that person is 17 years old. Now is when you have to take second and think, Is this going to work? and Is it appropriate?
It may seem okay for you two to be in a relationship; you go to the same school, have lots of things in common, and you both have great personalities. To you, it might not be a big deal, like, “We’re only two years apart.”
What you might not realize is that person is 17 and they’re going to practically be an adult next year, while you remain a teenager. Being a teenager, you would be in high school, while the 17 and soon to be 18-year-old will be starting their life, leaving school, getting a job, and being on their own. Balancing all of these life tasks is going to make a relationship pretty complicated. Simply finding the time to spend together would be hard enough. That will only become more difficult the older you both become.
So when you’re trying to decide if being in a relationship with someone who is older than you may be appropriate, you may ask others what they think.
Something else to think about is the legal issues that you might run into. If one person is 18 and the other is 16 and you are in a relationship that experiences a tough issue, it could lead to legal problems. If the 18-year old was taken to court for anything related to the relationship, that will be on their record for the rest of their life.
My overall opinion on being in a relationship like this one, or any relationship for that matter, is to be very careful. Know that a relationship comes with responsibility, effort, trust, and commitment. You also need to be mature in a relationship and be aware of the potential consequences of your actions.