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Dear Lucy, I am ace and most of my friends know. I want to tell my parents, but they don’t exactly support the LGBT+ community. Should I tell them? If yes, how?
Before I continue, just know that I’ve spent many days researching this topic. I don’t have any personal experience with this topic but I’m going to try my best. The most important thing that you should know? High school is all about finding yourself. Everyone goes through this process at least once in their life so it’s important for you to remember that, you’re not alone. You are loved. You are becoming you.
Now, to answer your first question, yes. Parents are supposed to be there to love and accept you, no matter what. You’re one step ahead of the game with your friends by your side! From what I’ve read, you need to make sure of a few things. You need to make sure that it’s the right time. You don’t want to hit your parents with this when they are angry or upset, simply because if they react the wrong way it could escalate the entire situation. Another important thing, be prepared. You know your parents better than anyone which means you can probably anticipate what they’re going to say. Realistic expectations of their responses will make it easier for you to prepare yourself and confront the issue head on.
As much as I wish that I didn’t have to say this, you have to be ready for a bad reaction. You have to be ready for slamming doors and smashing tables. If this does happen, stay calm. At that point, you must stay calm and you must remember how loved you are. They love you more than anything else even if their initial reactions are over dramatic and downright cruel.
Worst case scenario? They don’t accept it. So what? Our parent’s generation has spent their entire lives learning the ideas and beliefs that they have. You can’t expect too much from them right away. Even though you do want their approval, don’t beg them for it. You’re still their child and you’re still the same person. The only difference now is that you’re openly expressing yourself.
If you think your parents will respond well, make it memorable! Bake them a cake or come out in a song. There are tons of different ideas on the internet that could really be memorable. If your friends are willing, maybe bring a support team with you! If you have any issues, there are tons of local places that are willing to help with this kind of thing. If you can’t drive, try attending our school’s very own GSA Club, Gay Straight Alliance Club. Contact Ms. Schwarz for more information about that one.
I’m sending you all of my love and all of the luck. You are strong. You are worth it. You are you.